Imagine spending five nights on a quiet North Carolina beach in the deep of summer, sitting around a camp fire with a group of spiritual seekers who are on “silence” (not talking). They're quite well occupied contemplating a single passage from an ancient text. Here, Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha is our Elder and coach as we take a deep dive into discovering who and what we truly are. Or, to say it another way, to “know thyself” is our quest’s goal. Quite an adventure!
Let me share the story as best as I can recall. Imagine, perhaps, that you are there too, in the dark, feeding the fire. Staring into the flames. Sheltered on one side by grand dunes and soothed by the sound of the surf only yards away. We won't go back to our tents until dawn. We will spend the whole night in contemplation.
In the mornings, after a welcomed sleep of several hours, we rise to Grandmother's call to come to sit at a picnic table with our notebooks and share our thoughts and experiences. She will share her oh-so-loving Wisdom with us. Then, maybe you’ll share a small meal she makes for you in her RV kitchen?
As the sun sinks, you and the seven others prepare for another night of contemplation by the fire, gathering firewood, notebooks, and Medicine blankets. You climb over the dune. No talking. Seeking—What? Understanding? An Awakening? Illumination? Peace of Mind? Empowerment? All of these and more, indeed! You look at a piece of paper Grandmother has given you and read quietly by the fire’s light:
I AM, that is the natural life-giving force of all things, FE/MALE of all the elements, the initial progeny of Worlds. Chief of the Divine Powers, Queen of All that are in Hell, the Principal of them that Dwell in Heaven, manifested alone and under one form of all the powers of the Principals.
At my will, the planets of the sky, the wholesome winds of the sea, and the lamentable silences of hell be disposed; my name, my Divinity is adorned throughout the Worlds, in diverse manners, in variable customs and by the many names.
Quite a mouthful! Quite a claim! Who is this mysterious being?
The font alone gives the quote an arcane air; as if it comes from some forgotten ancient document or tale of Gods and Goddesses? You have lots of questions!
Who is this bold speaker who appears to claim full Power over the universe itself? Where did Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha get this quotation? Or did she write it herself? Why had she chosen this particular quote for us to ponder?
Your forehead figuratively furrows in your brain and your eyes roll. It’s a Mystery! A puzzle. The air is cooling down. We feed the fire and it rises up hot and delicious.
Grandmother has instructed us to take walks on the beach whenever we are moved to do so. She has set some boundaries so we do not wander too far. But we are free to wade into the waves and stare out to sea, study the surf and the stars; walk back and forth from surf to fire as we please. We do not speak to strangers or each other.
We seekers know each other reasonably well. We have traveled to other shores with Grandmother and are building a place called Friendship Village in Ohio, a ceremonial home, retreat and conference center. We are family.
Sitting by the fire comes naturally to us so there is a silent camaraderie that blesses our shared excursion into inner space.
The message, the text, is obviously about Divinity. This is not an unfamiliar theme to any of us.
You start studying each and every word, starting with “I Am that is…!
You, personally know from your own previous studies how very significant the ability to say “I AM” is. It demonstrates the power of the human consciousness to self-reflect and to KNOW THYSELF as an individual, self-contained living entity that has a memory and ability to imagine the future. A self-conscious human being can recognize their own existence over the passage of Time. This is the tell-tale sign of being a human. We each are fundamentally “I Ams”.
In the Ten Commandments story in the Bible, Moses asks God who he should say spoke to him on the mountain and God says “I AM that I AM!” God gives no real name!
So, this ability to say, “I AM” is also a fundamental characteristic of Divinity as well as of Humanity! Self-consciousness, self-reflection and awareness of existence over Time are things that humanity has in common with the Gods and Goddesses of ancient worlds and cosmic realms.
So, the quotation you are studying begins with “I AM that Is” … and goes from there. What a list! What a proclamation! This Entity that speaks is…
1—The natural life-giving force of all things
2- FE/MALE of all the elements
3- The initial progeny of Worlds.
4-Chief of the Divine Powers.
5-Queen of All that are in Hell.
6- The Principal of them that Dwell in Heaven, manifested alone and under one form of all the powers of the Principals.
And she sums it up by saying “At My will, the planets of the sky, the wholesome winds of the sea, and the lamentable silences of hell are disposed.
My name, my Divinity is adorned throughout the Worlds, in diverse manners, in variable customs and by the many names.
What a proclamation! Worth repeating. Worth contemplating. This is likely a Goddess speaking and she seems to believe she is the Creator/Source and perhaps the Destroyer as well. In any case, this is Divinity speaking.
Now…a still small voice inside you suggests, since the Speaker goddess is an ‘I AM’ and you are also an “I AM” being, then you are Divine too! HHmmmmm. No small thought. Of course, because you are a Seeker, you are familiar with this assertion. That each human is, in essence, an off-shoot of “the Divine One” that is in all Things.
But though you can grasp the notion that you are Divine intellectually, it is difficult to feel divine, or to accept that you have creative powers equal to a God’s. But at least you are on the right track.
As the nights pass, you consider each word and phrase of the quotation. For instance, you ponder what “FE/MALE” could actually mean. It is oddly written. The speaker says she is a Queen. You contemplate “FE” by itself and it occurs to you that that is the chemical symbol for Iron. And iron makes our blood red. Red is often associated with the primal force of life. So “FE, you can conclude, is a good prefix that expresses the life-giving character of a Mother goddess.
You find that you take particular pleasure in the phrase, “the many names.” Go figure! Much later you learn of more of her names.
The weather has been beautiful until one night, Yunsai comes in. You were prepared somewhat as Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha’ had said something earlier about a new weather front coming in. And sure enough, that night the wind picks up…
Out on the beach, looking far North you see approaching a huge, dark cloud bank roiling like you have never seen before! The wind picks up slowly at first, then more fiercely. Thrilling it is!
When it is almost directly above, you’re awe-struck! The cloud bank is so very sharp and clearly defined as it towers directly above you. Then the clouds burst and the rain pours. You are soaked by rain, refreshed and cleaned! You feel so so close to the natural world.
Yunsai, the North Wind, the powerful Gatekeeper of our Mother Lodge, the White Buffalo, has visited us and blessed us. We are electrified and re-generated!
Eventually, when we return to our tents, we find them flattened. But we are troopers and have a good laugh over it all.
Eventually the days on the beach come to an end. We sit with Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha in circle and share our thoughts. One person named Minnie speaks up and tells us in a hesitant tone that she had seen a younger version of Grandmother on the beach! We looking questioningly at each other. Grandmother nods and says “Yes.” She had visited each of us as a younger form of herself! But Minnie was the only one that saw her in that form! We look at each other and are sad that we had not seen her!
It was a wonderful week but of course, it comes to an end. You truly had arrived at many conclusions!
Several years after this North Carolina vision quest (another name for what we were doing), I found a paragraph in a book by Joseph Campbell titled The Power of Myth in a chapter titled The Gift of the Goddess. He cites a source for the origin of the quotation that we had contemplated! I was so excited!!!
It comes from a second century A.D. novel (one of the first novels ever written) called The Golden Ass by Apuleius. The speaker is the Goddess Isis. The original is Latin so the translation is different from what I had become familiar with. But there is no mistaking it. Isis speaks:
….I am Nature, the universal Mother, mistress of all the elements, primordial child of time, sovereign of all things spiritual, queen of the dead, queen also of the immortals, the single manifestation of all gods and goddesses that are. My nod governs the shining heights of Heaven, the wholesome sea-breezes, the lamentable silences of the world below. Though I am worshipped in many aspects, known by countless names, and propitiated with all manner of different rites, yet the whole round earth venerates me. The primeval Phrygians call me Pessinuntica, Mother of the gods; the Athenians, sprung from their own soil, call me Cecropian Artemis; for the islanders of Cyprus, I am Paphian Aphrodite; for the archers of Crete, I am Dictynna; for the trilingual Sicilians, Stygian Proserpine; and for the Elusinians, their ancient Mother of the Corn.
Some know me as Juno, some as Bellona of the Battles; others as Hecate, others again as Rhamnubia, but both races of Aethiopians, whose lands the morning sun first shines upon, and the Egyptians who excel in ancient learning and worship me with ceremonies proper to my godhead, call me by my true name, namely Queen Isis.
Ah! So many names! Yet paradoxically, we are ALL the “I Am” —the One that is in All Things! And each of us have our feminine/Mothering aspects as well as the powers and characteristics often associated with the masculine.
As I sit now in my home, re-reading and re-living by sharing this story, I am eternally grateful to the One called Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha who once took me for a Deep Dive into an ocean of Contemplation, so that I might better Know Myself. As the Cherokee say: "Wado! I appreciate"!
-Dusty (Elizabeth Richie)
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