Walk Into the Rain

 

Oh of course it was raining today, off and on , and it was reasonably cold. Nearly winter, and yes, cold is very personal experience, to say it’s cold:, to feel cold. Looking out the window I see bike riders, runners, people walking their dogs and they seem to be ok, not noticing that it is cold….I wrap the blanket around me just a little tighter. What is inside of me to feel this way? The temperature gage indicates a reasonably mild temperature…and it’s only autumn, nearly winter is only my interpretation…so, are my thoughts determining how I feel? Really?

 

Well here are my options: I could  go back to bed (I would love that!) – I could have a bath- (I would love that too) - I could turn on the heater and snuggle up with my cat – if she is willing….(that’s of course lovely) and stay away from the world outside…that is how I feel and why I feel cold inside. I could also challenge my thoughts and feelings and go outside! There would be nothing wrong with following my feelings, but I know I can make better choices for myself, which will improve my wellbeing. Is that an easy task to accomplish today? No.

 

I remember Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha’s words of empowerment, about knowing our strengths and  I consider to get dressed and go for a walk. The moment I do, my mind is chattering away, trying to convince me otherwise. My internal dialogue goes something like this: Why would you go outside?  You could just do your favourite things like float in a warm bath or read a book in bed, have a cup of tea, enjoy the company of your sweet cat, be a little inactive after a busy week (I deserve a rest don’t I? After all it is Sunday!)… and so on. The arguments are endless and quite convincing!

 

I  have however made my decision, getting dressed and wading through the piles of excuses towards the front door I hesitated momentarily when I saw my cat curled up on the couch, tempted…but felt by then also determined to master my thoughts and feelings and to beat the cold I felt inside. Yah!

 

I firmly told my thoughts to get out of the way and stepped outside.

 

The weather looked like rain, looked cold, but felt surprisingly comfortable in temperature once I started walking. I was dressed warmly, and had taken my raincoat. It crossed my mind how Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha had always spoken about her and our connection with the elements….I knew deep inside that once outside I would be very happy. Once I opened my eyes to the world and looked at the trees around me, the sky- grey or not- once I felt the wind on my cheeks and the raindrops gently touching my skin, I was truly very happy. It only took about three strides and my whole body said: Yes! Yes! Yes! And: More! More! More! And as if in automatic mode my body carried itself forward a s if by magic. My arms, my legs felt wonderful as all my muscles started moving, my cells danced in joy at being exposed to exercise and fresh air. All my cells seemed to be working now, each doing what they do best, depending on where they were located: stomach, muscles, heart, brain. How many cells again? I believe Grandmother Pa’ris’Ha cited research stating there were trillions of cells at work? Amazing! I felt clarity of mind.

 

My heart was filled with life-giving blood, pumping, my skin felt invigorated and my face showed a smile; the smile just came about, just like that! With the smile my mood improved instantly, from feeling a bit gloomy and feeling like curling up inside, I now felt like opening myself to the world, maybe meeting people along my way, saying hello, stopping for a while….

 

And after a brisk walk which truly had me feeling warm….I did stop…and sat under a tree. The rain had paused for now and the ground under the tree was dry, the tree protecting me from any weather and sharing its love with me as I sat down and leant against its trunk. I was very still and quiet as nature began to speak, first very gently with winds moving around me, with little creatures crawling across me, then louder through the rustling of branches and leaves, some of them falling on me and around me, floating down in the rhythm of autumn, then birdsong in the distance- a melancholic song aligned with the moods of the season. As I stopped my thinking and allowed thoughts to pass by for the moment, not rushing them away but rather gently asking them to move past the screen of my mind, acknowledging their presence, welcoming them to return at a later time, my mind slowly stilled and it seemed that after a while only the winds were speaking to me, communication that Grandmother Pa’Ris”Ha had often mentioned.

 

Now the ground feels solid underneath me, supportive, I become one with Mother Earth, her creatures, the trees, the wind and the clouds. Some raindrops find my cheeks and roll down, caressing me….I feel a sense of peace and love, centred deep in my heart and soul. I notice a connection between the ground and my spine. It seems as if a current is finding its way up my spine, slowly moving towards my brain and beyond, lighting up my brain, charging it and then moving up into the sky and the ether. I imagine that creation becomes one with me, that I am in fact the trees and the trees are me, that the ants crawling over my legs know me, have always known me and welcome my presence, feel safe in my presence as I will not harm them, and I have known them, have known of them in the scheme of things, as part of greater life and the universe. Grandmother Pa’Ris”Ha has always spoken about our inter-connectedness with all life and how any of our actions, thoughts and words have a wide-reaching effect. I now know.

 

Ah the universe!! Here I am sitting under a tree in the forest and realise -in utter wonder- that I am in fact part of the ever so wondrous universe! How profound, how humbling, how exciting! I picture in my inner mind the many stars, planets, the endless sky, the vastness of the universe and of course the ever life-giving sun! Despite the clouds today, Grandfather sun has risen this morning, without fail,  in the East and has cast his warmth upon us all. So kind. So reliable. Warmth, light, nurture, hope. As sure as every day the sun will set in the West later inviting the night to come. Nature’s cycles. Universal cycles and laws. I have forgotten about time and space, I have not thought about where I am, or what time it is.  I wonder even: do I know who I am? Where do I come from? Where will I go when it is time? I leave the questions as they move past me, questions for another time. For now I just close my eyes, allowing myself to be immersed in the sounds of the forest, the sounds of nature, focussed on feeling the winds, the occasional raindrop caressing my face. I feel the ground, the fallen leaves with my hands as I drift into another world, the world inhabited by fairies and other magical beings, seen or unseen I know they are around me, curious and playful. I smile, I am happy, I am content in the peace of the moment, no past, nor present, just here and now. My whole body is relaxed as I seem to float like the autumn leaves in the story of my imaginations, as I fly with eagles in the dreamworld of my mind, above the clouds toward infinity, as I let go of what is binding me to Earth, to this dimension just for a little time, while I experience the endlessness of the vast heavens and the unlimitedness of who I can be. I sense a lightness in my being lifting me and I feel creator’s embrace: warm, comforting, all-knowing, loving. I belong. I am loved beyond words.

 

I would like to remain there, it’s so peaceful, none of the challenges of three-dimensional life can reach me here, emotions, thoughts, other people.

 

I return slowly in time to notice the weather getting cooler and raindrops falling more densely. My face is getting wet, I laugh – it  feels refreshing and invigorating. I already feel the first signs of the evening approaching. I hold the deep inner peace I have just experienced carefully in my hands and my heart, determined to not let it go, ever, it feels so, so wonderful. I carefully get up, aware of not hurting any of the little creature around me. Walking back towards home I lift my face to the rain, letting the water run of my face, smiling, each raindrop telling me a story of love and appreciation and my gratitude is embracing the forest, the sky and the universe. I am. I am that I am. 

 

In that moment I do not feel any separation, I feel like a fairy myself and in wondrous exaltation I skip and I dance in the rain.

 

What a wonderful afternoon it has been. Warm not only physically – despite my initial sense of it being a cold day, but warm in my soul and peaceful in my heart and mind. As I approach home I slowly allow my thoughts to return, and they do, and that is ok, I welcome them, as my dear friends. My mind is not filled with chitter-chatter as before, it quietly thinks about plans for rest of the day, dinner, and yes, a bath! 

 

My experience stays with me, I am mindful for the rest of the day, sense my connection to the All, both my humility and greatness in the face of the universe, my endless gratitude for being on beautiful Mother Earth at this time, being able to experience her beauty, the weathers and also thankful for the experience and learning as a human being with emotions and thoughts, as challenging this may be at times. I appreciate the ability to feel and all facets of it: happiness and gratitude, sadness and pain. I know that I can be in control of my mind, that thoughts cannot determine who I am,  or how I behave, neither am I driven by my emotions. Acknowledging thoughts and feelings I can accept these as integral part of the human experience, welcome them in a sense and take charge, like I did this morning; I feel empowered.

 

Yes I felt cold, yes I felt like curling up in bed, away from the outside world. My mind had a million reasons and excused ready for me, but I stood strong, asked my thoughts and feelings to step aside and chose differently. I do not for a moment regret my choice: being with nature, being mindful and meditating, and letting go was a beyond beautiful and truly magical experience. As I glance out of the window the sun has begun setting in the West, another day is coming to its end, the elements retiring into the dark. The moon will remain behind the clouds tonight, nevertheless watching over us, as I say my prayers. I will have a warm bath, floating, one with the water and retire to bed, curl up with the magnificence of the world inside me, my cat’s warmth comforting me, with the universe taking me into a dreamworld, not much different from the one I encountered in the forest earlier today. My mind is still, and calm, my body relaxed; I feel the sound of my heart’s beat, strong and regular as I drift into the other worlds with a smile on my face….

 

© Adi 2022

When Memory is Not Real

Salvador Dali once said: "The difference between false memories and true ones is the same as for jewels: it is always the false ones that look the most real, the most brilliant."

“The only thing we ever deal with is thought, and thoughts can be changed! Regardless what the situation is, it is only outer effects of inner thoughts! The power is this moment and you choose what it is!” ~Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor

Elizabeth F. Loftus, a well-known professor and researcher in the field of psychology and “the creation and nature of false memories” has shown in her research how memories can be distorted, how people can be influenced by information after an event has occurred. Her experiments involve exposing people to outside influences of suggestion after witnessing a video, and being questioned about their observations, for example.

According to an article on Businessinsider.com, Dec 19, 2017 by Lindsay Dodgson, “Neuroscientists have looked at brain scans of people having real memories and false memories to see if there's a difference. In one study from Daegu University in South Korea, 11 people were asked to read lists of words that fall into categories, like ‘farm animals.’" Then they were asked whether specific words appeared on the original lists, while functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) detected changes in blood flow to different areas of the brain.

“When study participants had confidence in their answers and were correct, blood flow increased to the hippocampus — the region of the brain that is important for memory. If they were confident in their answer but were wrong, which happened about 20% of the time, the frontoparietal region lit up — the area associated with ‘a sense of familiarity’."

Now consider how the human brain can influence memory by going over and over an event that is influenced by a high emotional response. According to Dr. Joe Dispenza, in Evolve Your Brain, “We can make thought more real than anything else.”

The way we think affects the body because every thought creates a biochemical reaction in the brain, which allows for a corresponding feeling in the body. There is a continuous cycle of thinking creating feeling and then feeling creating thinking.

 

“All that you perceive is a hologram and the materialization of your thoughts,” shares Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor. “Do you like what you See? If not, change your mind.” The thoughts, vibration and frequency that you emit returns back to you an exact reflection.

Each time we “re-live” a highly charged emotional experience, we literally cause the brain to fire in the exact sequences and patterns as the original event. This firing and wiring of the brain to the past only serves to reinforce those circuits and create even more hard-wired circuits. The emotions can become even more heightened thus creating a distortion of the “memory” of actual events.

 

When there is an extreme emotional charge to an event or experience in our life, and we continue to live it over and over again, recreating the same chemistry in the body-mind, there is the opportunity for distortion of the memory of that event, heightened by the memorized emotions. Because we tend to “re-live” especially traumatic events or uncomfortable or unhappy experiences from our past, those “memories” become distorted by our emotional state.

This unconscious repetition trains the body to remember that emotional state, equal to or better than the conscious mind does. When the body remembers better than the conscious mind, then the body is the mind. Our feelings become the way we think, and we can’t think greater than how we feel. At this point the body (feelings) controls the mind (thoughts).

Only 5% of who we are is conscious, and 95% of who we are is subconscious, or even unconscious. So, body-feelings is that 95 % of memorized negativity, while mind-thoughts is the 5%.

“Think of your body as the unconscious mind. It is so objective that it doesn’t know the difference between the emotions that are created from experiences in your external world and those you fabricate in your internal world by thought alone. To the body they are the same.” -Joe Dispenza, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself.

 

Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor reminds us that all is energy. The "here now" that we are looking at is a series of images that we have created from our memory bank, because the physical action of looking is actually a black hole. The iris is a hole that acts as a lens. The optic nerve broadcasts electrical signals that play across our eyes like a movie on a screen. This is what we have been calling reality – past experience. Those electrical signals are pulled from our memory bank. We are not present at that moment.

The question of the accuracy of memory has more recently become of interest in the criminal justice system.  According to an article in Wired, “False memories and false confessions: the psychology of imagined crimes” Julia Shaw, a criminal psychologist at the London South Bank University, conducts research to study how false memories arise in the brain and its implications to the criminal justice system. She has found human memories to be susceptible to suggestion, malleable and “often unintentionally false.”

"False memories are everywhere," she says. "In everyday situations we don't really notice or care that they're happening. We call them mistakes, or say we misremember things." In the criminal-justice system, however, they can have severe consequences.

Elizabeth Loftus, a cognitive psychologist at the University of California, Irvine, had been studying memory for more than 20 years prior to 1990. In one of Loftus’ research studies, she concluded that "The key is suggestibility. Often, false memories develop because there's exposure to external suggestive information. Or, people can suggest things to themselves - autosuggestion. People draw inferences about what might have happened. Those solidify and act like false memories."

Joe Dispenza in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself gives this advice: “Warning: when feelings become the means of thinking, or if we cannot think greater than how we feel, we can never change. To change is to think greater than how we feel. To change is to act greater than the familiar feelings of the memorized self.”

Thus, in order to move out of living in the past, and being boxed in by “memories” – real or unreal – is to challenge the thoughts and feelings that come with them. A vital skill that Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor teaches to help separate our thoughts from “ghosts from the past” and what’s truly our inner self, our true self, is to simply ask, “Who’s talking?”

 

Ask yourself: “Is this true?” “Is this just what I’m thinking and believing while I’m experiencing these feelings?”

Rather than continuing to replay old scenarios – move beyond the “old memorized self.” Knowing that memory is more an illusion than a reality, it is possible. The act of coming to present time is absolutely vital to moving from victim to victor.

All we ever have is this moment. What we do with our emotions, memories, thoughts and actions, right now, is all that matters and is all that creates matter. ~Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor

 

-DJA


References:
Evolve Your Brain, Joe Dispenza, DC; ©2007, Health Communications, Inc.

Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, Joe Dispenza, DC; ©2012, Hay House, Inc.

https://www.businessinsider.com/science-of-false-memories-2017  Dec 19, 2017, Lindsay Dodgson

https://www.psychologistworld.com/memory/false-memories-questioning-eyewitness-testimony False Memories: How false memories are created and can affect our ability to recall events.

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/false-memory-syndrome-false-confessions-memories, Emma Bryce, 7-22-2017 False memories and false confessions: the psychology of imagined crimes