Sharing An AHA! Moment

 

My mentor and Elder, Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor, reminds us, it usually takes 90 days to show results…and A LOT of people quit before they reach that point of return.

It was 10:35 am this morning and I had just finished a half-hour conference call I’m on every morning with other businesswomen from around the country.  It’s a combination coaching, accountability and prayer call. I love it!

But I’ve been feeling frustrated lately – even though I’ve been doing all the right things as far as “filling my pipeline” (making new sales contacts) and reviewing my goals each morning and night; following other “success tenants” – because I’m still not seeing results.

There’s a “Slight Edge” Principle that says if you do just a few things consistently – every single day – that effort will compound over time and produce results.

But there’s a period of “doing the do” that you have to put in before you start to see the measured results come back to you. That’s where I’m at – in the middle of the new course of action.

So, when I got off the call, even though I love the energy and the camaraderie and the coaching, I was feeling restless. I’ve been feeling restless for a while now.

I began pacing rapidly back and forth between my kitchen and living room – which in a one-bedroom apartment is NOT a very large space!

I often pace. I pace to think. I pace to pace. I pace to calm down. I pace to ramp up. It helps me expend energy. I pace.

I started talking aloud (as I often talk to myself).

“Restless,” I kept repeating aloud,” restless in mind…restless in body…restless in spirit… restless in soul…”

I stopped dead in my tracks and looked at the manual treadmill standing in the middle of my dining-living room.  “Well,” I thought, “if I’m going to do this furious pacing thing I might as well turn it into exercise and get on my treadmill!”

So, I put on a lecture by Dr. Joe Dispenza, the author of “Evolve Your Brain – The Science of Changing Your Mind” and his, at that time, newest release, “Breaking The Habit of Being Yourself: How to Lose Your Mind and Create a New One.”

At first, I had it on my computer speakers, but I couldn’t really hear it over the noise of the manual treadmill belt. So, I donned my mp3 player and earplugs and mounted my treadmill for a workout – physical and mental.

I started hearing little snippets of wisdom in-between my conscious readings from the display in front of me…watching and mentally logging numbers of “how far, how many calories, how fast,” etc.

I went for a quarter mile and it felt really good – especially considering I am still dealing with a tear of the medial meniscus from a work-related injury that’s all tied up in Workman’s Comp hearings! (Part of my sense of frustration).

I look a lot like Frankenstein when I walk – still – but part of my restlessness comes from knowing that I’ve been stuck too long in “injury mode.”  I realized that I need to get on with healing my leg. I followed my “walk” with some modified lifting of weights (arms) and stationary punches (I’ve REALLY missed my Tae-bo Gold Routine!).

All the while I was listening to Dr Joe’s lecture – one that I have been listening to repeatedly lately. When I finished my physical exercise, I felt really good. “Exercise” had been on my days’ list of accomplishments that I had written out the night before. It felt good to have that already done.

Then I sat down and started to write. He was talking about addictions and personality – about how 95% of who we are is acquired from the influences of others, which I know from previous studies with Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor.

Then I got really excited when Dr Joe started talking about habits – and the definition of a habit as “when the body is the mind.”

When we feel stuck – we have to look at “what have we memorized?” What feelings and experiences have we cemented in – even though we may say we want to change? If we’re not changing it’s because we’ve hard-wired past body-mind programs which then become habits.

If we memorize (hard-wire) an emotional reaction and stay there for a few days – it becomes a “mood.”  If we prolong it further it becomes our “temperament.”  Over a prolonged period of time that temperament – “living by the same emotional reaction” over and over again turns into a personality trait – which means we’re totally living in the PAST!

THAT was my “AHA!” MOMENT!

Recovery Programs refer to a person’s “defects of character.”  I’ve always maintained that I am NOT defective. I am a child of God and God doesn’t make junk!

BUT then I made the connection to what Dr. Joe is talking about…and realized that the “defect” is the faulty emotional reaction that has been hard-wired in our brain based on a past experience that we haven’t been able to free ourselves from. Why?

All emotions produce chemicals in our bodies and in the brain. We can become addicted to those chemicals in the same way we can become addicted to alcohol or other drugs, food, or gambling, or sex, or any destructive behavior.

We try to change but we hit a wall because, as Dr. Joe describes it, “I can’t go beyond this emotion because the chemicals are so addictive.”

We can’t go beyond the emotion because someone or something knocks us so far out of balance as to prevent us from being able to make our way back.

That’s living in the past. What is it that we have to do in order to live happy and free?

CLEAR AWAY THE WRECKAGE OF THE PAST!

I have had the privilege of working with recovering alcoholics for over 40 years. One of the greatest pitfalls I have seen is the seeming inability to let go of the guilt and shame of their past. Recovering alcoholic/addicts are told to remember their last drunk/usage – so that they don’t return to using. But that means the individual is keeping that experience alive by constantly repeating it. Thus, staying mired in that past that they are trying to resolve and move forward from!

Besides, there is scientific evidence that “memory” is not so much a function of recall, as it is a function of the mind filling in a story, in order to accommodate the emotions, we’ve memorized.

So, to keep “re-living” a past occurrence in order to avoid that same mistake in the future is a basic fallacy, because the brain is making up a “greater than” trauma with each recollection.

That begins to trap us, and we find ourselves living in a past that didn’t actually happen (at least to the severity that we tend to remember it.)

We don’t have to DWELL in the past to learn from it. In fact, we can’t afford to.

Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor teaches us that we only have THIS MOMENT.  She reminds us that “Energy follows thought” If we’re focused on the past, we’re living in the past.

In order to liberate ourselves, we MUST Let It GO.

This is true for ALL of us – because our habits are hard-wired memorized emotional reactions from past experiences that no longer serve us except that we’ve become addicted to the chemicals produced by them. (And then we wonder why we keep repeating the same behavior over and over again, even though we set goals and swear off, or swear on – determined to change, yet we don’t).

Dr. Joe asks, “What emotion have you memorized – that you’re living by day after day – that you think is you? That’s not who you are…that emotion is just a record of your past experience.”

So, what are “defects of character?” Memorized emotions that we think are us.

 

But they aren’t us – they aren’t who we are – they are what we are holding onto.

 

So, whatever “dark secret” we may be carrying around with us, whatever horrible atrocity we think we’ve committed, Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor reminds us that we are loved!

I like to say we are not bad people trying to get better – we are good people who have gotten off course.

If anything can be called “defective” – it’s our memory of past events – of what we are holding onto – and that can be changed.

It’s a choice.

 

Every Day is a New Life

One of the greatest examples of intelligent and courageous living I’ve learned in my association with Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor, simply stated, is she greets each new day as a new life. Really.

 

That means not carrying forward any judgement, any drama…a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g…from the previous day’s interaction with an individual. Ever try that? It’s no small feat!

 

I don’t know that I’ve honestly been able to accomplish that yet. I try – but it takes a lot of practice to just wipe the slate clean from the day before and give a person the clear opportunity to be a different, better person.

 

Some might judge that as being weak, but I have witnessed time and time again, a power that has come with that practice that I am in awe of and am continually amazed.

Some time ago I found myself in a situation of coming into contact daily with an individual who had determined that I am some kind of “mortal enemy” that has to be destroyed! Let me tell you, looking into those eyes wasn’t easy!

But to do so having released all thoughts, judgement, and conclusions from the day before, coming into contact with her with no carryover? I was at the “watch my back” phase of development for quite some time. But, as I constantly had to remind myself, I can always strive to practice “A New Day, A New Life.”

After all, it’s in the intention of creating a new behavior, forming new neural nets, or “re-wiring” as they say in Brain Science these days, that the seeds of achieving that change exist.

By being consciously aware of the desire to change, I am one step closer to breaking those old patterns and forming new ones.  “Creating new neuron networks.”

Until I was able to achieve that separation from a sense of injury, distrust, etc., I would smile, look her in the eye, and strive to remember that she is a child of God, as am I.

-DJA

More About Ego Boundaries

 

 

Recently, Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor has shared that the statement “I care” goes from the heart. That saying “I Love you” often carries the expectation that intended has to say it back. Having announced that the experience of "falling in love" is a kind of deception that not the slightest bit comprises genuine love, let me finish by moving into invert and bringing up that becoming enamored is real love. The misguided judgment that becoming enamored is a sort of adoration is so strong definitively because it contains a trace of validity.

An actual body isn't enough since we are conscious creatures, not simply actual creatures with spontaneous constancy stimulation. In this lattice, we limit from Source, so if not for our inner self superimposing a psychological limit around our actual bodies, we would have a personality crisis.

This is fundamental in a civilization that shows similarity and aloofness. It can turn into a lonely presence as it makes a feeling of fairness as it's effortless to be misunderstood or not comprehended by others.

The inner self covers we unravel resemble mental protection we clad our actual bodies with to project to everybody how we might want to show up and be respected. However, these inner self brims are not generally arranged with our actual selves. They are frequently internal self shrouds that meet the endorsement of our smothering society and are not entirely set in stone by practical pretends. Yet, like mother, father, chief, specialist, tycoon, political inventor, social laborer, laden individual, reliable sibling, etc.

In control of ego boundaries, we are left with an inconsistent incensing approach to being. From one viewpoint, ego boundaries maintain that we should be remarkable and unique, and simultaneously it needs to be typical and acknowledged by others. The final product is an outlook that is tormented by duality. It's in every case either/or dark or white. We don't frequently incorporate the third state, which is 'not one or the other' or 'something different. Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor encourages us to become aware “that what is true of one of us is true of all of us. Further, we are all born with our own fingerprint which speaks to our uniqueness.”

 

Inner ego boundaries according to other people

The most valuable spot for ego boundaries is in cozy associations with life partners - family, dear friends and work associates. Because of the vicinity and reliance on such individuals consistently, there is a gamble of obscuring the inner self boundary insurance.

An individual with a solid inner limit, who has an over-expanded feeling of the significance of their requirements, may unknowingly (or deliberately) stomp all over the necessities of their better half, who has more fragile ego boundaries.

 

Why do specific individuals have solid inner ego boundaries and others have feeble internal ego boundaries?

It's because of the make-up of the essence of the individual and their young life developmental encounters. A passive ego boundaries attribute in one individual might be the overall inner self quality.

 The individual in a relationship's self-image limit doesn't embark on being like that. They were drawn to their accomplice since they have an attribute they respect and might want to have. Like the expression goes: opposites are drawn toward each other. 

This is most normal in family and relationships, and the issue with powerless limits and solid limits impacting is somewhat because of the design of society. Every day we live in remote units of the family unit instead of the more distant family. The tension in the family unit to be everything to its singular individuals is very extraordinary. It's even normal for a married couple to become so reliant upon one another that they begin to treat each other as augmentations of themselves.

For the accomplice whose self-image limit is powerless, the relationship is a strain according to their viewpoint. Rather than a caring association, they end up entangled in different necessities instead of being two people connecting on an equivalent balance. When involved, their character becomes obscured by the other. They will change themselves to attempt to satisfy them. The predominant adaptation of this self-image attribute is the point at which they stay away from closeness through and through or end connections right on time, inspired by a paranoid fear of losing themselves in compromising with an accomplice.

Declaring requirements and wants without becoming charging or conservative is troublesome at first for the individual with a frail limit. They will have fostered the propensity for fulfilling different requirements first since it's faster. Yet, falling prey to that challenging situation makes it more earnestly for them to meet their necessities.

If we lived in a more mutual presence, similar to a more distant family that pools its assets, there would be less need to draw solid ego boundaries around ourselves to protect our sensibilities from those spirits who are exceptionally near us and from whom we expect and give to such an extent.

 

Have you seen that the more individuals you are around, the less you want solid ego boundaries?

Grumpy and empathic individuals have more trouble drawing a psychological boundary around their character. They frequently obscure their limits to others and mistake their requirements for theirs. Maybe they have a more grounded memory of the cherishing between linked we have as spirits.

They might give in to the reasoning: 'If I fulfill my better half's necessities first, my requirements will come straightaway'. It doesn't generally work out that way, as ego boundaries are self-centered and artful, for the most part at the oblivious level. Rather than the band together with the solid inner ego boundaries to arrive at a similar understanding, they are bound to unknowingly succumb to their ego boundaries molding, which hopes for something else and is rarely fulfilled.

 

How Soul plays role in Ego Boundaries?

We are over-subject to self-image recognizable proof since we are, in a real sense, kept from data about the idea of soul personality. This is mainly because of the absence of elaboration on this significant angle in most present-day otherworldly lessons.

 We hear a ton about the inner self-being and how an individual is a person. There is a presumption that to lose inner self means to lose self. No big surprise, the vast majority won't approach other materialism: they would not give up their feeling of a particular separate individual to some quantum ocean of awareness ordinarily distinguished as Universal Consciousness or God.

 Indeed, this expanse of Soul is the existence force, the energy and well of awareness behind all creation. The actual manifestations, you and me, nonetheless, have an unmistakable soul character and that is the amount of the numerous genuine lives we have. Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor shares that “we are the collective of all those who have gone before us.” Said another way, “we are the sole reason they ever existed”

We entered the physical to separate as we previously came from that shapeless un-individuated state yet are presently branching out to improve our reality. An inner self is bound to a solitary life, yet the spirit is across all the horde, and unique inner self lives it has decided to manifest into learning, developing, and creating. You could say that the spirit is more personal than the inner self.

Numerous incredible lessons talk about the acquiescence of the self-image to the solidarity of God. They leave out that this is a steady cycle done in stages, as indicated by the singular Soul's necessities. General Love (God) is extraordinary that we don't become re-consumed in a minestrone kind of cognizance soup after the 'change called passing'.

The individual God and the mimicking God. We should be personal, and it's essential for the drive toward our inventive experience. We will have as need might arise and need before we shed them totally and return to source in an unadulterated energy state - assuming you take that to be the sacred goal.

Nonetheless, similar to the projected color, the encounters we gain as Souls from our self-image lives can't be scattered - data is rarely lost. Whenever we realize what it is, we decide to learn we don't require inner self lives to be individual, and we would have figured out how to be experts in our psyches. This process is done in highly steady stages, totally customized to the person.

This isn't difficult to handle because pretty much everything in the inner self world is driven by a specific need, a one-size-fits-all attitude, the necessities of the many offset the requirements of the sparse few, etc.

On top of that, we need to adjust to an inner self-driven perspective on 'great' and 'right', which barely perceives Cause and Effect. If a couple of citizenry misuse the framework (and nobody cares 'why', 'how'), we wind up languishing over it through the burden of cruel principles and limitations that limit our flexibility.

Real identity is outside inner self-limits. It implies you don't see yourself as a casualty when something awful occurs. You are an obvious soul who is gaining from involvement with this life. On second thought of thrusting at the felon (or situation) and deciding about them, hating their guts, you deal with your nursery first.

You look at your reactions to this tough spot and how you can collect any illustrations (agonizing as they might be). Keep in mind that 'each cloud has an upside'.

I know very well that it's not difficult to express, and keeping in mind your experience, it's a pretty large request to see it along these lines. However, when you start recovery or are emerging from it, that is an ideal opportunity to assess the situation and quit relating to 'me the person in question'.

However long we relate to the casualty of inner self-limit, we are not individuals yet a mark, an extent, a generalization. In this manner, we center around some unacceptable doing, on the misfortune. This delays the anguish and overlooks the main issue.

 

                          The Mystery of Love

The most severe mystics believe that our average impression of the universe contains numerous discrete articles.

Stars, planets, trees, birds, houses, ourselves-all secluded from one another by limits is a mis-perception, a trickery. To this consensual mis-perception, this universe of double-dealing that the more critical piece of us wrongly acknowledge as certifiable, Hindus and Buddhists apply "Maya." They and various mystics hold that veritable reality can be known by experiencing solidarity by giving up mental self-portrait limits. It is hard to consider the fortitude of the universe to have a place as one continues to believe oneself to be a discrete article, confined and conspicuous from the rest of the universe in any way at all.

Hindus and Buddhists consistently hold, along these lines, that the infant kid, before the improvement of mental self-portrait limits, knows reality, while adults don't. Some even suggest that the way toward illumination or data on the solidarity of existence expects that we backslide or make ourselves like infants. This can be an unsafely alluring statute for explicit young people and energetic adults who are not prepared to assume grown-up commitments, which seem, by all accounts, to be disturbing and overwhelming and mentioning past their capacities. "I don't have to go through this," such an individual could think. "I can give. up endeavoring to be an adult and pull out from grown-up demands into sainthood." Schizophrenia, in any case, rather than sainthood, is achieved by circling back to this thought.

Most mystics grasp the truth that was made sense around the completion of the discipline discussion: precisely, that we ought to have or achieve something before we can give it up. Stay aware of our expertise and common sense. Without its mental self-portrait restrictions, the infant youngster may be in closer contact with reality than its people; in any case, it is unequipped for getting by without the thought of these gatekeepers and unequipped for conveying its understanding. The way to sainthood goes through adulthood.

There are no quick and precise substitute ways. Mental self- boundaries should to be cemented before they can be loose. A person ought to be spread out before it will, in general, have exceeded. One ought to notice one's self before one can lose it. This implies that there is a knowing and we surrendered at some point to who? Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor asks “when did we give up who we are?” The speedy conveyance from mental self-portrait limits connected with going completely gaga, sex, or explicit psychoactive drugs could give us a short glance at Nirvana, but not with Nirvana itself. It is a proposition of this book that Nirvana or getting through enlightenment or veritable extraordinary advancement can be achieved mainly through the resolute movement of authentic love.

Pa’Ris’Ha Taylor encourages us to be aware everything is talking to us. We are not separate from the “All that is in All.” Can rain lose its water?

In summary, the temporary loss of mental self-portrait limits drew in with going completely gaga and in sex not simply drives us to truly focus on others from which certifiable love could begin yet, furthermore, gives us a look at the genuinely persevering through puzzling joy that can be our own after a significant stretch of reverence. While encountering energetic sentiments isn't itself love, it is a piece of the vast and confusing arrangement of reverence.

 

-Muhammad Faisal