Community

Perhaps at this time this word engenders so much fear yet its true essence is so needed as we live our lives. In The Different Drum by M. Scott Peck, he refers to this as the "real" need in order to deal with our lonely lives believing in rugged individualism. To me "soft individualism" is being able live together with others with all the warts and talents acknowledged and fully accepted. Grandmother Pa’Ris’Ha has often reminded us in her teachings, that the fallacy of rugged individualism is our idea that it is one person succeeding all alone.

Having lived in community for many years this idea of community really resonates with me. Community to me is more than 20 people with a focus living together. When trying to get things accomplished in one’s "own" life you seem to be constantly running through obstacles and around people but imagine with 20! Perseverance and tolerance had to be relied on and these virtues encouraged as in the Pecks' marriage.  And though teamwork seems to be constantly referenced as an ideal in business or in sports, it’s when team anticipates the needs of the group that success is achieved or felt.

In the time I lived in community with Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha, she would often assist us to see how in our daily lives we could achieve so much more together. That being a meal or building a building. Separate is never equal to another in talents or failings so in order to make things work, you accomplish it together. The individual feels, well that one thing you do but more you fill up with esteem and joy as your project succeeds; your life seems on track.

Pa'Ris'Ha would let us "wool gather" for a time when working toward a goal but bring us back to the focus of how each of our actions must work in concert with the other to bring our completion. That the separation we perceive as outside ourselves doesn't really fit or work. To be successful, it is in the supporting of another and coming to a completion that we bond. Therefore, becoming fully human which to me is Mr. Peck's "soft individualism".

Often with Grandmother Pa'Ris'Ha as we came together to work on something, we were able to think of ourselves as one family or community. Not separated from others just connected to like-minded people working for a common goal.  Living in this way is not lonely because it is done together with individuals.  All of us are needed and all in us is needed as well. Nothing separated out.

Today private lives are lonely; influenced as we are by the internet, lockdowns, working from home or on-line schooling. Achieving and being happy with what we are doing seems almost like a TikTok video short and looking for others to like us! Somehow not seeing the Divine spark. We are who we are looking for. We are not to be separate, as Pa’Ris’Ha reminds us, we are meant to work through those differences to see how your boundaries can meet mine and form the cohesiveness of Life.

By Ew